How do you cope with the loss of a loved one?
When you lose someone or something very precious to you, the grief can be intense. Pain, sad memories, and unanswered questions can haunt you. You may even feel that you’ll never be the same – that you will never laugh or be whole again. If you have ever lost something or someone attached to you in a way, I know you totally relate to what I am talking about.
It is Okay not to be Okay
It is okay to grieve with pain however emotionally challenging that can be. I will be specific on the kind of loss I am discussing here today, the loss of a loved one to death. This can be a life-changer, honestly, because now you are going to live without them and do everything without them. That is the moment reality checks up on you like “hey, life moves on” as if with a wink (UNFAIR) but life!
Here, you start reminiscing of your moments together while they were alive, take a gallery walk to look at their pictures, videos, their ideas and even the work they did or had been doing before they met their death. You start appreciating the time spent together for these now become blissful memories. It can take a long time to get to a place of acceptance or rebuild enough of a “new normal” to move forward and rebuild a workable version of one’s life. Most deaths are always sudden and unexpected. We lose “our people” to illnesses, accidents, homicide and many other tragic events. For my case, my mom succumbed to congestive heart failure caused by a heart attack (a sad story for another day).
Coping Loss: How To Cope With Loss of a Loved One
Be Strong, Accept It
So how do we manage that pain? Because there is nothing like getting over it (from my perspective). People try as much to manage grief and loss however heartbroken they can be and always try to bring that balance of life, family, friends and work no matter how huge the gap could be. We have strong humans I promise! Imagine those family dinners/breakfasts without one of you, their space is always blank (I think that’s a weird moment for a minute), the sight of a grave always in your compound could induce mixed emotions to everyone but as time goes by, you get used to it and even grow a thicker skin. You grow a heart of a warrior! Strong is the word, strong is the way! Face the loss as it is with so much acceptance, do not do anything to dull the pain (like engulfing yourself in alcohol or so) that’s like procrastinating the grief.
Le it out, Express your feelings
Let your pain out! Cry if you have to! Realize that there is no right or wrong way to feel pain or to express it. What is important is that you recognize the pain and try to work through it. How you do so is entirely up to you and will vary from person to person.
Open up, talk about it
Try talking to someone or compassionate people you trust with your emotions, this could ease the pain in you and also avoid insensitive people with their dismissive comments as well. Negativity is the last hand to grab you when you are falling off a cliff.
To conclude, I will just say there is no perfect way to mourn or grief your loved one. It is a tough phase that we all encounter but my wish is that you find peace and energy to surge all through that pain.
Feel free to share below on how you managed or grieved your loved one.